Post by Grizzlies GM on Sept 12, 2007 2:49:47 GMT -5
The Good
Long Distance Bulls - Bulls lead the league from three point shooting, making a blistering 42.7%. They might as well keep launching since they are only shooting 44% from inside the arch. With threats in Stojakovic, Nocioni, Gordon, Wagner, Hinrich, and Jasikevicius, there is a shortage of shot attempts on this team.
Loving the Line - Houston is shooing 26.6 free throws per game, leading everybody by 4.3 attempts. The NBA is investigating claims that Toyota Center staff raises the temperature to make opponents sloppy. Three opposing players have claimed heat stroke in Houston this year.
The 40 Year Old Rookie - Greg Oden has run away with the Rookie of the year award, winning all 4 rookie of the months. He’s averaging 17.2 points, 11.0 rebounds, and 3.3 blocks per game. Addressing questions of Oden’s actual age, the Blazers have made copies of his birth certificate and are handing them out to the next 10,000 fans at their next home game.
The Bad
Missing: Ball - Dwayne Wade is leading the league in turnovers with an astonishing 3.5 per game. When reached for comment teammate Shaquille O’Neal said, “35 points per game, 7 rebounds, and 5 assist, the guy obviously needs to get better.”
Wright is Wrong - Small forward for the Heat Dorell Wright is leading the league is minutes with 40.3 a game. The only problem is his stats look like he’s been playing 25 minutes a game. With 10 points, 7 rebounds, and 2 assist per game he wins the MIA award.
How’d you get that Hernia? - Damon Jones of the Cleveland Cavaliers is out for the next 29 days with a sports hernia. Jones claims he injured himself in practice last week, but sources have told this reporter that 3 Asian hookers, 20 gallons of tapioca pudding, and a blow up kiddy pool were involved.
The Ugly
Home sweet Home? - Atlanta is a miserable 13-16 at home, and sitting in the 9 spot in the East they will need to improve on that to make the playoffs. With 12 games left at home they need to win the majority to make their push. Fans have decided to root against their team to make them feel like they are playing on the road, where they are .500.
The Mayo/Paul Sweepstakes - Seattle and Indiana are battling it out for last place in the league, with Seattle in the lead (I guess) by just one game. Indiana however has gone 6-2 in the last 8 games and is making that playoff push, and is only 10 games out with 26 to play.
Elementary Pick - Much anticipated draft prospect, 3rd grader Jamar Nutter entered the draft this week. Nutter who failed first grade 5 times and second grade 6 times is actually 19 and has decided to put of getting his diploma for now. “I plan on going back eventually and getting my degree, as you can tell my education is very important to me.” Nutter was projected to graduate from High School in 2039.
Long Distance Bulls - Bulls lead the league from three point shooting, making a blistering 42.7%. They might as well keep launching since they are only shooting 44% from inside the arch. With threats in Stojakovic, Nocioni, Gordon, Wagner, Hinrich, and Jasikevicius, there is a shortage of shot attempts on this team.
Loving the Line - Houston is shooing 26.6 free throws per game, leading everybody by 4.3 attempts. The NBA is investigating claims that Toyota Center staff raises the temperature to make opponents sloppy. Three opposing players have claimed heat stroke in Houston this year.
The 40 Year Old Rookie - Greg Oden has run away with the Rookie of the year award, winning all 4 rookie of the months. He’s averaging 17.2 points, 11.0 rebounds, and 3.3 blocks per game. Addressing questions of Oden’s actual age, the Blazers have made copies of his birth certificate and are handing them out to the next 10,000 fans at their next home game.
The Bad
Missing: Ball - Dwayne Wade is leading the league in turnovers with an astonishing 3.5 per game. When reached for comment teammate Shaquille O’Neal said, “35 points per game, 7 rebounds, and 5 assist, the guy obviously needs to get better.”
Wright is Wrong - Small forward for the Heat Dorell Wright is leading the league is minutes with 40.3 a game. The only problem is his stats look like he’s been playing 25 minutes a game. With 10 points, 7 rebounds, and 2 assist per game he wins the MIA award.
How’d you get that Hernia? - Damon Jones of the Cleveland Cavaliers is out for the next 29 days with a sports hernia. Jones claims he injured himself in practice last week, but sources have told this reporter that 3 Asian hookers, 20 gallons of tapioca pudding, and a blow up kiddy pool were involved.
The Ugly
Home sweet Home? - Atlanta is a miserable 13-16 at home, and sitting in the 9 spot in the East they will need to improve on that to make the playoffs. With 12 games left at home they need to win the majority to make their push. Fans have decided to root against their team to make them feel like they are playing on the road, where they are .500.
The Mayo/Paul Sweepstakes - Seattle and Indiana are battling it out for last place in the league, with Seattle in the lead (I guess) by just one game. Indiana however has gone 6-2 in the last 8 games and is making that playoff push, and is only 10 games out with 26 to play.
Elementary Pick - Much anticipated draft prospect, 3rd grader Jamar Nutter entered the draft this week. Nutter who failed first grade 5 times and second grade 6 times is actually 19 and has decided to put of getting his diploma for now. “I plan on going back eventually and getting my degree, as you can tell my education is very important to me.” Nutter was projected to graduate from High School in 2039.
